Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Great Steven Wright Jokes

"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it."

"How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?"

"If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something."

"I bought some batteries, but they weren't included."

"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."

"I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly."

"It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature."

I woke up this morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called information. She said they were behind the couch. She was right."

"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."

"I put instant coffee in the microwave and almost went back in time."

"Ballerinas are always on their toes. Why don't they just get taller ballerinas?"

"I bought some dehydrated water, but I don't know what to add to it."

"I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he's gone."

"My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted."

Monday, 4 February 2013

The Eleven Films Of Grace Kelly

Grace Kelly is one of the most famous actresses in Hollywood history. One of the top box office draws of the fifties and an Academy Award winner. What many people may not realise is that she had a very short career in movies. Only eleven films in five years. On April 18th, 1956 she married Prince Rainier III of Monaco, just over five years after making her big screen debut. She never made another movie. Here is a quick look at the eleven films she did make:

Fourteen Hours (1951): Film debut, directed by Henry Hathaway.

High Noon (1952): Western starring Gary Cooper (who won the Academy Award for Best Actor). Considered one of the greatest westerns ever made.

Mogambo (1953): Clark Gable and Ava Gardner co-star in the remake of 1932's Red Dust (also starring Clark Gable). Grace was nominated for a Best Supporting Actress Oscar.

Dial M For Murder (1954): First of three films with director Alfred Hitchcock.

Rear Window (1954): Classic Hitchcock thriller co-starring James Stewart. One of the top box office hits of 1954.

The Country Girl (1954): Grace won the Best Actress Oscar for this film co-starring Bing Crosby and William Holden.

Green Fire (1954): One of Grace's lesser known hits.

The Bridges At Toko-Ri (1954): Grace re-teams with William Holden in this movie based on a James Michener novel.

To Catch A Thief (1955): The movie that brought Cary Grant out of retirement and the third (and last) Hitchcock production.

The Swan (1956): Released the same day as her wedding to Prince Rainier.

High Society (1956): Grace Kelly's last film before she became Princess of Monaco. Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra co-star.