Eddie Murphy Quotes

"I'd Like to produce, direct, write, score and star in a film in exactly the way Chaplin did."

"I don't think more concentration is required for Robert De Niro to do what he does as for Jim Carrey to do what he does."

"I'm relaxed about my career. I've been making movies for over 20 years, so I've earned  at least the right to relax."

"I've made 30 movies and for the most part my movies work. In a business where success is an exception and not the rule, I've mostly been successful."

"You know, making a movie is a collaborative effort and sometimes all the ingredients don't work out. I know that every now and again I am going to make a movie that won't work."

"In reality, all men are sculptors, constantly chipping away the unwanted parts of their lives trying to create a masterpiece."

"If you went to my house, you'd see pictures all over of Elvis. He's just the greatest entertainer that ever lived. And I think it's because he had such presence."

"The only reason I did Showtime was Robert De Niro. I definitely consider him to be in the top five all time best actors."

"I would love to be in one of those Batman movies. Jim Carrey did the Riddler once and he did a wonderful job. Egghead, I could be Egghead."

"I know what I'm capable of doing and what I'm capable of not doing. To be perfectly honest, I'm a little afraid of doing a straight dramatic film. I'm not saying I couldn't do it. I'm saying I'm afraid to. Everybody is afraid of failure."

"Think of all the people who came off that show. I bet you could figure out the combined grosses of people who came off Saturday Night Live in the movies; me, Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell, Mike Myers, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd. I bet it's $15 billion."

Funny Adam Sandler Quotes

"My name is Adam Sandler. I'm not particularly talented. I'm not particularly good-looking. And yet I'm a multi-millionaire."

"I've been called a moron since I was about four. My father called me a moron. My grandfather said I was a moron. And a lot of times when I'm driving, I hear I'm a moron. I like being a moron."

"Now that I'm a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot."

"A lot of critics object to what I do, but I got into comedy to make people laugh, and I've always worked hard."

"Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it."

"I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing Maria from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up."

"I do love the films I've done in the past. I work hard in my movies and my friends work hard and we're trying to make people laugh and I'm very proud of that."

"I definitely connected to the fact that life gets out of control and you end up doing things and wishing you were doing other things instead."

"I've always had lots of friends and my house was the house they all hung out at."

"I still get very scared when I step in front of a live audience."

"If I do die, it'll be in America. And it won't be on a snowboard. It'll either be on a toilet or hanging from a belt, naked."

Tina Fey Quotes

"Somewhere around the 5th or 7th grade, I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people by making them laugh. Essentially, I was just trying to make them like me, but after awhile it became part of my identity."

"I'm not that good looking, nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen."



"You can't be that kid standing at the top of the water slide, over-thinking it. You have to go down the chute."

"You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at."

"It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film."

"When a man plays a woman in a dress, you're halfway there. It's inherently funny. When a woman plays a man, for whatever reason, it's not that instant kind of funny."

"A Harvard medical school study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss."

"If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs."

"Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion."

"I had to get back to work. NBC has me under contract. The baby and I only have a verbal agreement."

"I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math."

"I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey."

Grouch Marx Quotes

"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

"She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon."

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you're got it made."

"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."

"Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him."

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."

"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."

"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."

"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."

Music Artists That Altered Their Name After Becoming Big

Prince: Due to a dispute with his former record label, Prince began releasing albums under a new "name". He changed his name to just a symbol and since there was no pronunciation for it, he became referred to as " The Artist Formally Known As Prince". Later he wisely changed his name back to Prince.

Grand Funk: Originally calling themselves Grand Funk Railroad, They dropped "Railroad" from their name after a legal dispute with an ex manager.

Chicago: The band released their first album under the name "The Chicago Transit Authority" but shortened their name to just Chicago after being sued by the actual Chicago transit authority.

Jefferson Airplane: They went from Jefferson Airplane to Jefferson Starship to just Starship, then the original members reunited and began calling themselves Jefferson Airplane Again. Why not, it wasn't being used.

Matchbox Twenty: Originally called Matchbox 20, but changed name to Matchbox Twenty because they felt there were too many bands with numbers in their names (i.e. Blink 182, Sum 41...)

John Mellencamp: Released albums under the names Johnny Cougar and John Cougar because his management felt Mellencamp would be too hard to sell. Became John Cougar Mellencamp on 1983's "Uh-Huh" and finally just John Mellencamp on 1991's "Whenever We Want".

Sean Combs: Changes his name every other week it seems; has been known as Puff Daddy, Puffy, Puff, P. Diddy, Diddy and even "Swag?"

Great Steven Wright Jokes

"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it."

"How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?"

"If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something."

"I bought some batteries, but they weren't included."

"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."

"I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly."


"It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature."

I woke up this morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called information. She said they were behind the couch. She was right."

"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."

"I put instant coffee in the microwave and almost went back in time."

"Ballerinas are always on their toes. Why don't they just get taller ballerinas?"

"I bought some dehydrated water, but I don't know what to add to it."

"I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he's gone."

"My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted."

The Eleven Films Of Grace Kelly

Grace Kelly is one of the most famous actresses in Hollywood history. One of the top box office draws of the fifties and an Academy Award winner. What many people may not realise is that she had a very short career in movies. Only eleven films in five years. On April 18th, 1956 she married Prince Rainier III of Monaco, just over five years after making her big screen debut. She never made another movie. Here is a quick look at the eleven films she did make:

Fourteen Hours (1951): Film debut, directed by Henry Hathaway.

High Noon (1952): Western starring Gary Cooper (who won the Academy Award for Best Actor). Considered one of the greatest westerns ever made.

Mogambo (1953): Clark Gable and Ava Gardner co-star in the remake of 1932's Red Dust (also starring Clark Gable). Grace was nominated for a Best Supporting Actress Oscar.

Dial M For Murder (1954): First of three films with director Alfred Hitchcock.

Rear Window (1954): Classic Hitchcock thriller co-starring James Stewart. One of the top box office hits of 1954.

The Country Girl (1954): Grace won the Best Actress Oscar for this film co-starring Bing Crosby and William Holden.

Green Fire (1954): One of Grace's lesser known hits.

The Bridges At Toko-Ri (1954): Grace re-teams with William Holden in this movie based on a James Michener novel.

To Catch A Thief (1955): The movie that brought Cary Grant out of retirement and the third (and last) Hitchcock production.

The Swan (1956): Released the same day as her wedding to Prince Rainier.

High Society (1956): Grace Kelly's last film before she became Princess of Monaco. Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra co-star.