Funniest Charlie Sheen Quotes

"I'm not bi-polar, I'm bi-winning. I win here and I win There."

(About producer Chuck Lorre) "I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can't handle my power and can't handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists."


"look what I'm dealing with, man. I'm dealing with fools and trolls."

"There's a new sheriff in town and he has an army of assassins."

"Every day is just filled with just wins. All we do is put wins in the record books. We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it's scary. People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view."

"I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren't special. People who don't have tiger blood and Adonis DNA."

"If you're a part of my family, I will love you violently."

"There's a storm coming, and it's me."

"I'm on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. It's too much."

"The only thing I'm addicted to right now is winning."

Great Katharine Hepburn Quotes

"If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun."

"If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased."

"As for me, prizes are nothing. My prize is my work."

"Enemies are so stimulating."

"Plain women know more about men than beautiful women do."


"Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four."

"Acting is a nice childish profession. Pretending you're someone else and, at the same time, selling yourself."

"When I started out, I didn't have any desire to be an actress or to learn how to act. I just wanted to be famous."

"As one goes through life one learns that if you don't paddle your own canoe, you don't move."

"If you give an audience a chance they will do half your acting for you."

"With all the opportunities I had, I could have done more. And if I'd done more, I could have been quite remarkable."

"the lack of work destroys people."

"We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers...but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change."

"People have grown fond of me, like some old building."

Films Of James Cameron

Avatar (2009): Broke Titanic's all time box office record, brought 3D movies back into vogue and introduced us to funny looking blue humanoids from the planet Pandora. Hopefully it won't take Cameron another twelve years to make a film.

Titanic (1997): The most successful film ever when it was released and made superstars out of Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. Swept the Oscars including Best Picture in 1998.

True Lies (1994): Another team up with Arnold Schwarzenegger. This one's an action comedy with spies, terrorists and a sexy striptease by Jamie Lee Curtis.

Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991): Cameron re-teams with Schwarzenegger for this blockbuster sequel. This time Arnold's Terminator is a good guy, programmed to protect Sarah Conner and her son. After The Abyss, this movie was a milestone for CGI visual effects.

The Abyss (1989): All the intensity of Aliens but underwater. This film was a giant  breakthrough in the use of CGI. This technology would be later used in Terminator 2 and Jurassic Park and every movie since.

Aliens (1986): Sequel to the movie Alien (1979). The first one is a suspense / horror film, Cameron's follow up is an all out war film.

The Terminator (1984): Arnold Schwarzenegger as a cyborg hit man from the future and uttering the famous catch phrase "I'll be back", nobody saw that coming. This film also features other Cameron alumni like Linda Hamilton, Michael Biehn and Lance Henriksen.

Piranha II: The Spawning (1981): Everybody's got to start somewhere and for James Cameron it was this film.

Best Don Rickles Insults

To Frank Sinatra: "Hey, Frank. Make yourself at home. Hit someone."

To Ernest Borgnine: "Look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?"

To Joey Bishop: "Joey Bishop, who passed away and wasn't told about it."

To Milton Berle: "I Love Milton, you were my idol when I was a kid. Now I'm getting shock treatments."

To Anthony Quinn: "A wonderful man, we had dinner the other night in L.A. Still eats with his hands."

To Johnny Carson: "You keep it up Johnny and I'm gonna tell everyone that you double date with Merv Griffen."

To Orson Welles: "Orson Welles has been a great star for so many years. This man was married to a great many women in his life, they're all flat now."

To Ed Sullivan: "Once in a while Ed, move you're body or they're gonna throw dirt on you."

To Robert DeNiro: "He's one of the great actors of our time. You ask him."

To Larry King: "Look at you, you're schviting (sweating) all over the place. Do you have a home on Guam?

Tribute To Elizabeth Taylor

Place Of Birth: London, England

Made her film debut in There's One Born Every Minute (1942).

She converted to Judaism in 1959.

First movie star to be paid a million dollars for a single film (Cleopatra - 1963).

She was married 8 times (Twice to Richard Burton).

She won two Academy Awards for best actress: BUtterfield 8 (1960) and Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf? (1966).

She was also nominated for Raintree County (1957) and Cat On A Hot Tin Roof (1958)

She made 11 films with Richard Burton: Cleopatra (1963), the V.I.P's (1963), The Sandpiper (1965), Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf? (1966), The Taming Of The Shrew (1967), Doctor Faustus (1967), The Comedians (1967), Boom (1968), Under The Milk Wood (1972), Hammersmith Is Out (1972) and Divorce His - Divorce Hers (1973).

Appeared on the Simpsons as the voice of Maggie.

Made a Dame by Queen Elizabeth in 1999.

Godmother of Michael Jackson's kids Prince and Paris.

Her favourite movie she made was Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?

Quote: "If someone's dumb enough to offer me a million dollars to make a picture, I'm certainly not dumb enough to turn it down."

TV's Most Annoying Characters

1. George Costanza (Seinfeld): " I always get the feeling that when lesbians look at me, they're thinking,'That's why I'm not a heterosexual'."

2. Archie Bunker (All In The Family): "It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well known detergent to crime."

3. Frank Burns (MASH): "We all know it's brutal up there at the front, especially those of us at the rear."


4. Cliff Clavin (Cheers): "There's no rule against postal workers not dating women. It just works out that way."

5. Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory): "I'm not insane, my mother had me tested."

6. Alan Harper (Two And A Half Men): "I'd rather be a second class citizen here in paradise than a king of a urine-soaked fire-trap next to the Burbank Airport."

7. Ted Baxter (The Mary Tyler Moore Show): It's actually tomorrow in Tokyo. Do you realize that there are people alive here in Minneapolis who are already dead in Tokyo?"

8. Steven Urkel (Family Matters): " I have a lot of personal experience in first aid. I got a nosebleed at birth. My doctor slapped the wrong end."

9. Barney Fife (Andy Griffith Show): " Now here at the Rock we have two rules. Memorize them until you can say them in your sleep. Rule number one: obey all rules. Rule number two: no writing on the walls."

10. Carlton Banks (The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air): " I wanna go to college and poke fun at all the kids on financial aid."

Ten Best Oscar Hosts

1. Bob Hope: "Welcome to the Academy Awards or as it's known at my house, Passover."

2. Johnny Carson: "I see a lot of new faces. Especially on the old faces."

3. Billy Crystal: "Nothing takes the sting out of these tough economic times like watching a bunch of millionaires giving golden statues to each other."

4. Whoopi Goldberg: "I am the African Queen. Some of you may know me as the virgin queen, but I can't imagine who.

5. Steve Martin: "Hosting is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town."

6. Jon Stewart: "Welcome to the 78th Annual Academy Awards, hosted by me...the fourth male lead in Death To Smoochy."

7. Chris Rock: "Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars."

8. David Letterman: " Nominated for Best Foreign Film 'Eat Drink Man Woman'. Which is also how Arnold Schwarzenegger asked Maria Shriver out on their first date."

9. Ellen DeGeneres: "Since the Oscars have decided to go green, I've been told to recycle some of my old jokes."

10. Hugh Jackman: "Fifteen career Oscar nominations. That's a record. I hate to say it but when someone puts up numbers like that, it's just hard not to think steroids."